Week 7 - 11, May 9- June 6

I feel like I'm floating right now.

Not in the buoyant, psyched to pull through another semester (grades did post today), ready for what comes next, more in a I have no idea how to connect/ reconnect with anything or anyone around me. The stress has eaten me. Focusing on the things and people I can't change has left me fatigued.

I caught sight of my foyer bench for the first time in two weeks.

The best man I've ever known

The oldest olive tree on earth

the lab :)

There hasn't been a break... I'm finishing this post three weeks after starting it and suffering the same maladies.  There are things that I need to get over and things that I need to work through and things that I just need to let be.  I want that sublime delighted feeling that I have when everything seems possible and everything is changeable.  I want what I refer to as vacation perception- the perception that everything is different/ could be different when I'm traveling in Europe or South America.  That, "yes, I could open a vineyard" or the belief that people really have your back and best interests at heart when they say they do.  Blind hope is much more comforting than disappointing realities... but that's of course only if you accept them as unchangeable and absolute...

However, I didn't make this blog up to complain.  I made it to learn how to bake and be accountable.

So here's the long and short of what I've been up to:

May 9th

As a penance for what a pain in the keister I've been at work, I made 3 cakes:

1, Family recipe for cassata

2, Japanese Cherry Cake- Castella

3, Strawberry Cheesecake- Castella

what the side garden looked like on may 8th- forget-me-not city.

near trenton falls on Mother's day

 So, I've decided that all cheesecake recipes lie.  There are no correct baking times... not even close to correct ones.  I had a little helper- dad came to the house since mom and I had plans and it took an extra hour to bake it.

 The cassata and cherry cake were delightful.  Only ick part of the cherry cake was there were no reasonably priced fresh cherries, so I did the frozen and it was sort of weird.

The frosting was super tasty- cherry buttercream. yum, but it wasn't stable- according to Lisa, it wanted some sugar for stability.  The recipe was from that fabulous cake book my brother and sister-in-law picked me up for Christmas- A World of Cakes and it even included Kanji script... it has friendship, love and success.

 I attempted fancy... I was impressed.

May 16th

Pecan pie for a dinner party,- karo label

Easter cookies,- family recipe

Blackberry pie with marscapone filling- from the filling label

No comments, but the pecan pie decided to leak on my back seat-- not a fan.

May 23rd

Rosewater and pistachio cake

Potica - both Castella

I enjoyed the Potica and definitely will make it again.  I'm not sure if there was a yeast issue- I used fast rise, not regular.

The rose water/ pistachio cake proved to be a pain in the butt- 1, no one had rose water, so I made my own. 2, the first can of pistachio's was burnt.

May 30th

Rum Cake- Castella 

Key Lime Pie- Bittman

I didn't do enough pics of the key lime- it was very solid with the swt condensed milk and crapload of limes and lime juice.  I enjoyed baking with the Captain, but I think the sauce was a bit strong for some... stories may follow.

June 6th

Lemon Cheesecake - Bittman

No pics... the water bath made the end of the graham cracker crust a little soggy, despite the foil wrapping... it was a gooood cheesecake.

As for running- did a 5K this past weekend, the 4th, it was slow and I couldn't run the whole thing, but I finished.

Walked 6 miles on Sunday and ran one and walked two yesterday.  I'm worried that I won't be able to finish the Boilermaker- but I realized that as long as I run-walk it, I should be able to finish it.

The garden is planted, I have a game plan for the work I have to finish this summer, I'm writing my last class' final tomorrow morning, and I started the first leg of my research this evening.  There are plenty of things to be grateful for, even the feeling of twilight zone that is growing out of me/ converging upon me.  Life is going to be different, but that doesn't mean it can't be great.

Em Angelini Ficus is eight months old!  Can you believe it???