midweek tweek

I'm feeling slightly overwhelmed right now--out of the kitchen.  I'm planning a big trip at work and feel like I'm herding puppies at points.  My examiners are trying to schedule the oral exam portion of my big test at school and aren't giving me a lot of information as to the whens.  My classes keep shifting, grades are due and tonight is the first night I've gotten home before 8 o'clock.

Hemingway's statue in Pamplona

feet in sand, golf of Mexico

Triphammer? Falls, Ithaca

I used to tell myself that things would be better when I got out of town.  That I'd be happier, that I'd do all of the things I wanted and have all the things I thought were important.  Cup always responded to my complaints about the hometown with, "remember, no matter where you are, there you are".  His point had been the old one that both the bible and buddhist doctrines harp on: a desirous person will be miserable, even in paradise.  I've been miserable on occasion (more often than I'd like to admit) on three continents.  The problem has never been with the place.  The problem has been with me.  So, this place (this town, this house, this life) may not have been the rose garden I'd grown up picturing myself inhabiting by 30, but I can't think of any place better for me to be right now.  I may not chose what happens in this world.  I will never have an influence over all of the little nuances that wind up governing the trajectory of my life, but I have control over what I do and the way I choose to think about them.

Arenal Volcano, Costa Rica

un, un, un, Paris

Parc Guell, Barcelona

I need the reminder that nothing and no one is inherently good or bad... that busy is just busy and the more I do and less I pine, the better I'll feel.  I need to be thankful for the everyday amazing: the reason that I started this out to begin with.  The real conversations with people who you don't have to watch your back around.  Giggling hysterically about ridiculousness with La and Nan.  The gratefulness of parents whose kids like my classes.  The amazing opportunities I've been given and that I've carved out for myself.  Shared stories and histories.  Secrets and their unveiling.  The enthusiastic anticipation filling us all as we wait for news on the baby's arrival.

Heaven, Casa Blanca Valley, Chile

San Sebastian/Donostia, Pais Vasco

Trevi Fountain, Rome

Breathe. Accept, deal, and let go.  Be happy go lucky.  And remember, "Hoy es hoy, y ayer se fue, no hay duda" Pablo Neruda-- "Today is today, and yesterday is gone, there is no doubt"